Updates

Julie's surgery went well and I thank you for your support and concern. The details are complex, but the bottom line is that her ear "cavern" (she doesn't have an ear canal because our previous Dr. had to take it down) was just full of sheets and sheets of infected skin, for lack of a better description. It's all related to her cleft palate and non-functioning Eustachian tube on the left side. The doctor cleaned it all out and gave us a game plan for the future. He needs to go back in several months from now to try to smooth out the cavern walls so that they are more self-cleaning and less likely to accumulate this gunk. After that, he will still need to go in periodically to clean things out. Once she is old enough to cooperate, he can do it in the office. Also, we are now working on getting Julie a BAHA hearing device to restore hearing to her left ear. It is similar to a Cochlear implant but it directs the sound differently. The doctor would like to put the implant part of the device into Julie's head at the same time he goes back in to smooth things out. It is exciting to think that she may finally be able to hear on that side again. The biggest benefit is that she will gain the ability to locate sound in space and better follow conversation. So, that's the gist of all that!

As for the rest of our life, we are still struggling. I avoid blogging because I don't know what to say and whether you all want to hear me complain. But, the honest truth is that we feel kind of beaten down on multiple fronts. We go through an almost daily cycle of uncertainty and confusion regarding the girls' medical care, school issues, housing issues, job issues, and health issues. I've had several ocular migraines since March. In the past I'd had maybe two random ones ever. They're really disturbing because I first sense that I can't see in a certain part of my field of vision and within minutes I have patches of wavy vision in the same spot. The eye dr says it's not a concern as long as it passes within 30 minutes or so, which it always has. But still, I hate the experience and I don't like that they are happening more often. Seriously, the stress levels around here are immense. We feel kind of emotionally homeless, without a safe home base to retreat to and process/think/rest. Our apartment is what it is, small and basic. I cannot unpack our things and I don't even know where some of them are (other than buried in a storage unit). I am going to make it through the whole summer without ever locating my sandals or flip-flops. I miss knowing where things are and having all of our resources at hand (thinking of desk supplies and kids' toys right now). I still haven't put my own clothes back in my drawers because I really didn't think we'd be in this apartment for long. I also miss my old dishwasher, fridge and sink with a sprayer, not to mention central air. I have a list of people I'm supposed to call, and I work on it, but it grows just as fast. Right now it contains the name of a rep from the local Shriner's to talk about Melody's medical care, the name of a speech therapist I'm hoping to use with Julie, the name of a lawyer from the Homeschool Legal Defense Association to ask for help in figuring out this state's many regulations before my paperwork is due next month, and the name of a doctor for me who doesn't take my insurance but is willing to work with me anyway (long story I'll elaborate on later). We also keep looking at houses but nothing ever seems right. I guess there's a reason my head hurts! We are seriously unsure where we belong and if we should try to get back "home." The supposed better salary is not turning out to be as much as we'd hoped, since other expenses eat up much of the difference (insurance and taxes are much more, for example). I know I probably sound terribly petty and ungrateful, and maybe I am. I need God to straighten out my thinking and help me walk in His peace. Hopefully progress in that direction will come soon...